Tag Archives: Frenemies

Life without Braces…Run Forrest Run!

Like most awkward teenagers, I had braces and made sport of popping off the ones glued to my molars by eating candies that were harder and unhealthier than gravel and I had to get them replaced by the dentist who, to lure kids into his drill bin, had a barrel of toys so I was excited to visit while putting ceramic and metals inside the holes in my teeth from drinking too much Kool Aid for lunch.  When we moved from Indiana, he said they could come off as I had them because I had the rare lack of overbite; that was the excuse to metallicize my chompers which today would probably get me on the TSA terrorist watch list for setting off detectors in airports.

After he took them off and we moved it took me a while to realize it; I’d look at kids with no braces and still get jealous until I ran my tongue across the front of my teeth and realized hey, I can be jealous of me.  It took a while for me to sink into organic looking teeth.  And for the jealousy to fade.

Friday I picked up my new bike! I fulfilled the prophecies set down in the Book of Longing, Ch 19, vers 1-6, and rode over the Brooklyn Bridge and headed to Long Beach and listened to waves of the Atlantic in the dark.  When you do something you haven’t done in ten years that you’ve wanted to do, there’s fifty five different feelings that swell with it; for me, the first time I heard the whistle in my  helmet almost made me cry as it was a sound I took comfort in while distracting me from my burgeoning sink hole of a life scenario in San Francisco. I didn’t think I’d hear it so soon here.  So beautiful.

Yesterday I left her idle as it was like half of America shoved up Satan’s unshaved armpit with the weather and I dislike hot hot weather. Go to Venus for this kind of climate.  But i looked around and seeing people on their bikes I got a pang of jealousy and realized hey, wait, my braces are off my teeth, baby.  It’s funny how long emotional habits have to scrub themselves out before they finally dissipate.

The other portion of this is that I don’t have to get on the subway nearly as often.  That’s like being released from prison and put on parole.  Like Morgan Freeman’s emotional prep for his speech to the Parole Board in Shawshank Redemption was him pretending it was the MTA executive board he was talking to and he just bought a Hummer or Nissan Stanza or whatever he drives.   But like Tim Robbins character, the moment I escaped it’s head for the beach, sand down boats and hire my ex inmate friends, escaped or paroled, as helpers for my projects. I guess that’s life.

The last other portion of this is the last time I rode a motorcycle was in 2002 when I left San Francisco in moderate to heavy disarray, selling my Honda. So a little scar tissue floats around but like athletes when they get some of their knee fluid drained or cleaning out bone fragments and that sort of jazz it will all clear out.

One thing for sure is that I own the finest bike every assembled by man for me.

Now, onto the business of striking down the next in the hit line of jealousies. Getting back on stage.  Now I’m going to do that. Let’s do that.  Some parts of life have dragged on too damn long. This lack of performance is one of them. When that happens, other than mass mood swerves comes practicing material on whatever animate or inanimate object can not escape.

By the way, donate to my Frenemies campaign if you have the money and you want to see distinct filmmaking get quickly into the 3rd dimension and you were going to donate it to cancer research.  This film will do more to cure cancer than the American Cancer Society. If you don’t believe me, ask cancer. One goal is to have it dubbed in dramatically heightened fake German. All the more reason to give….


Enter Pete’s Dragon

Finally, after much effort, a promotional trailer for Frenemies has been completed.  I love to mix pleasure with pleasure and so I’ll get it posted.  I’m pleased and look forward to the hundreds of thousands of dollars it will attract like a hungry magnet so I can film this ditty.  I look forward to the orgasmic powers of delegation as I was an artistic  Doctor Octopus and wrote, directed, starred, did the basic editing, scored and played the instruments and designed the dress Kate is wearing.  It’s been a great experience and probably saved me $100,000 in film school loans. Look forward to sharing soon and today, after a weekend of tying it together, is a comedown day where my brain feels like it’s drinking airline mini wines in a hotel near an unscheduled layover near Dallas Forth Worth International; exactly like that.

Now, a Kickstarter campaign will be posted to raise funds to hire someone to raise funds;  I once had this idea of having a fundraiser for a fundraiser in regards to my play Whorapy; how prophetic.  I just wish manifesting didn’t drive in the damn slow lane all the time;  if it’s got 8 under the hood, use it once in a while and squeeze the lemons out of the speed limit and let’s see how fast we can put dreams into the thirdest of dimensions.


Somewhere Bruce Lee swirls around inside me like a animated leviathan, full of muscular justice and righteous passion and when it surges to the surface, I try to funnel it into rhythm and words and slick movement through moments and sometimes, it gets away from me and I feel so large I can hear Jupiter squeaks when it turns.  Such are the reflections of a rainy Monday, where the body and mind feel contracted, to rest. 

Frenemies in Action and Appendage Dissertations

I’ve started to look at footage for Frenemies and I have to admit I’m excited, especially after having to deal with the State of New York’s Youth Nazi Party Junior Spokesperson and Fake Streetsweeper and then some Novia Scotia crosswinds and temperatures;  after two hours of grappling with Final Cut and technology in general I’m going to hire someone; otherwise my computer will end up in several quadrants of the universe;  I have little patience of passion for software language mastery;  I’m the petulant artist with a passion for romping through the dingy maelstroms of the human condition in disco clothes with great naughty words scribbled on them so I don’t have much patience for how to get a graphic to explode into tiny notes between shots;  I have awe and respect for those that do and am now going to pay someone to prove how Awesish I am towards them;  it took me three days to come down from the organic high of filming and am ready to swerve back into grappling with all projects; when I go a few days without writing I get a bit cranky on top of my normal Martian mood climate.

I will say that I am excited to finish this little promotional video;  Monique, who plays Kate, is very talented and I feel good as we head into the next phase of attracting money like Oprah; otherwise I’ll do what the Federal Reserve does and just print a bunch of fake money, except I’ll have portraits of all the same Presidents except with facial expressions right as they’re climaxing; it will be sexy fake money, unlike the real fake money we currently use; still, I’d love to have a loads of that fake real money in my bank account so Frenemies can be filmed with as much original vision as possible.



There are times where I wish I could clip the intercontinental transdimensional cable wire that runs from my brain to my penis; hotwire my ethics so I can take myself for a spin; something won’t let me sleep around anymore;  my penis is much smarter than me now; I don’t know when it happened; maybe it got tired of laying around ignored all the time and got an online degree at the Phoenix School while I was sleeping; but I cannot just ‘get laid’ anymore; my penis, in a lecture circuit to my other organs, has turned them against me and now it only rises when prompted by some inner sanctum uprising of the soul, streaking through the Valley of Aches and shouting madness at all the souls around until its echo is swallowed and returned better than when it left my groin;  it can make for lonesome nights but there’s something deeper going on and all I can do it is let it wrestle  until there’s nothing left but feathers and organic orgasms.

The twelve hour Joyday of madness

I just finished wrapping a one day shoot for a promotional trailer for Frenemies;  we started at 9am and last until about 8pm;  I forgot how how much crazy fun it is even getting something set up to film, let alone film it;  today I wanted to film our brief intro at a park in Williamsburg; it was cloudy i the mid forties; nobody was in the tony park and it offered a perfect view of Manhattan; however, there was a man driving around in one of those Popemobiles with dusters in front and he kept driving in circles and then finally, after hauling all of our equipment and I had laid down the track, drove up and told us we couldn’t film there without a permit because it was a state park and set me off for a bit;  a vacant park being told by a man whose job it was to drive a glorified Swiffer in circles with the swiffing portion one foot off the ground while his partner was mowing a February lawn with no live grass was a bit much for me not to consider I was dealing with a man who wanted no one to enjoy themselves; if the state of NY is that anally sewn up about it I will think twice about filming here. That man pissed off my anger; sometimes I get angry but my anger doesn’t get angry but today was a farce;  I look forward to mocking the state in the future in one of my pieces.

It set us back a couple of hours and we had to film in a soccer field next door;  I created  a physics challenge for filming as the angles were created in my mind for the Pope Swiffer I-Mobile Fascist Park; with my great cast/crew we managed and delivered enough good footage to give us something to use that will be rugged enough to be far enough away from too polished and give a peek of what this film is going to be; I want something filmed like it came out of 1975, windswept, messy sloppy and perfect;  I can’t wait until we get this filmed;

The day was a great great time;  I am exhausted and going to watch zombies now.


Friday Night Lights

One thing I’m grappling with as grappling builds spiritual triceps of plushy diamonds is how much time slopping around in the underbelly of the soul of the world where the demons of the damned play air hockey with people, and how much to spend immersed in the joy of life, and I always feel there’s something a little broken in me, an unbuilt bridge, a flaw when I cannot unite the two neighborhoods; not the classless utopian society so many imagine; an underbelly and a true joy of abundance; when I spend too much scouring the underbelly for lonesome, whistling truths I feel like I’m belying life itself, making a waste of moments full of soil and splendor; when I’m in the mode of complete acceptance of things as they are, I feel mature then incomplete and my heart-mouth begins to get filled like its lips are shrinking and then I feel bloated and drained of courage;  so there’s grappling and it seems to me, somewhere there’s a split in the wood and the deeper I go, we go, the better chance of finding the root of the split and then it’s all good;  sometimes I look around and see dilapidated monuments, spongy rocks slithered with colored chisels;   then I’ll see others like lighthouses, clean and emitting something a wide laser with flags of countries that never formed hanging from them; I just wonder, because I’m a mood machine, if I’m slighted by my own vision or there’s truth in the distinction; of course, probably a fruitcake made up of both; I’m a purist and sometimes I am a Sith and do deal in absolutes;  I believe they exist; burning flesh smells awful ; maybe on Planet Godor it’s like flowers; but any grappling with this Yin and Yang feels a little faded, a faded argument for being human now and yet something eternal;  I don’t want to be a drag but I don’t want to feel like a liar; I feel fresh and angsty tonight, like a loaf of bread with exploding raisins in it.

Tonight I went to a fabric store because I am going to attempt to make a dress, or dye a white dress, in the vision of the character Meghan in Frenemies who likes to mingle strong women in history and what they would have worn in a time warp to now.  And I want Kate, the other character, to wear it when we film our promotional video next month.  I’m a detail hound with very specific ideas on the look and I’m new to dyes and sewing and such;  vision is vision even if it’s cracked so I follow follow follow in bliss or brain swell.

At the tiny store there were two girls there and I had the feeling they were partners;  the thing is I have very poor gaydar; it’s busted or missing and instead I got an extra thought track so I think twice as many thoughts per second as what’s considered safe for a person but I have no gaydar; there’s someone out there right now with an extra set of gaydar; for some reason I hope it’s Leonard Nimoy;I sense it would be in good hands and he would use his double gaydar powers wisely. I’ve just not been able to tell;  when I was in high school, seventeen, I went to a play with some friends and this man was sitting next me; he was very nice; I was thin and young and polite; I still am; only later did my friend tell me he was hitting on me;  actually, come to think of it, I’m that way with any and all genders hitting on me at points;  animals too, when a dog comes onto me I get a little soft in my vision. Tomorrow I dye my  test fabric and get ready for a new frontier of expression, Meghanwear.



powering down to auxiliary the best a Scorpio can

I am in life contractions and they’ve abated for the moment;  I am about to leave town on Sunday for a week and anyone who lives in New York knows you have to leave the confines at least every two months for at least a couple of days and I haven’t done so in about eleven months so I have been running on magic fumes and second hand smoke for a while.  Now my body knows it’s about to bolt, and I am shutting down, leaving just basic life functions pumping; I am a walking hibernation and yet, under that is a casual maelstrom as one more winter of quiet preparation before a spring of creative launchings where I’ll need a whole case of champagne to break over bows.

It feels good to have taken command of Frenemies.  I have always struggled with the concept that I’m a control freak and that I have to be the Steinbrenner of all of my projects; I have tried to release some power and the mistake I keep making is releasing power versus delegation;  years ago, regarding Whorapy, which is NOT a play but a FULL CONTACT SENSUAL EVENT; it is set in a fictionalized brothel-speakeasy in 1920’s San Francisco and is written somewhat in verse but always in rhythm. And I know what it is and what it can become and how much effort is required to do it and how to shape that effort; and over the years I have had offers by others to take control of it or cast and have a reading and I somehow manage to keep it under wraps and go back and forth if I’ve kept a urgent garden from getting sunlight;  and I’ve been told writers shouldn’t direct their own work especially in theater;  well, I’ve been told a lot of things that make sense but in my physics seem stifling;  so now I begin to knead it to life again, piece by piece; when the music, when the words, the movement, the sensual velour of it starts to awaken, so do I and every cell of my being forgets regret and forgets ambition and nestles into a large gaping madness that looks like a smeared pond from the tops of the UN flagpoles.  I feel galvanized and then there is no quandary about separating life from art; I always say ten times the person means ten times the artist;  at this point I am directing my own work;  “Caesar is home, James Franco!” Ironic that that scene from the recent Apes film took place in the redwoods near San Francisco where Whorapy was born;

As for Frenemies in the last week I’ve created a poster which is simple and representative of the film itself and most certainly unique. Go to www.calendrome.com to see it.  I have sketched out a promo video based on a dream where I was shown a promo trailer of someone else’s movie and I was jealous; then I woke up and went, wait a minute, I’m jealous of me!  How fantastic!  That will be filmed next month.  Next is fundraising for this unique low budget ballad of love and spurs.  I am putting together a promotional package for investors/producers next week while at my folks house in Pennsylvania.   I’m damned excited actually.  I’m acting in it as Zach, the male Ferenemy; I have the camera; I have a great Kate cast, the female Frenemy;  it’s going to be fun when we get the fun(dies).

Regarding my home state of Pennsylvania, I have to say I am not too shocked about what’s happening at Penn State; I am disgusted and repulsed and angry, but not shocked. I’m adopted and laws in that state are circa 1795 when it comes to women’s rights and general openness regarding matters of the soul.  It’s certainly not the only state but after dealing with them over the years it’s right along the party lines archaic patriarchy.





Frenemies Mine

Anyone with an appreciation of 80’s sci fi movies will get the blog heading.  (Enemy Mine) Dennis Quaid as Dennis Quaid as an astronaut and Lou Gossett Jr as a self impregnating kind of scaly reptilian stuck together on a planet as mortal enemies and of course they make it work. It’s the ultimate interstellar bromance directed by Wolfgang Peterson.

Frenemies is the title of my full length feature.  Let me take you on a Willy Wonka journey of manifestation sans ‘The Secret’. No vision board needed.  A year ago it was a TV pilot and then I took this weekend filmmaking seminar with Dov Simmons, who is a human unfiltered cigarette; nothing is censored and most things smoke, but he inspired me to take my pilot and blow it out into a feature which is what I did last year around this time.  By about February I had it completed.  By March I bought a new ripping Apple MacPro that can direct air traffic for a regional metro airport and brush my dog, got the Final Cut X.  Then I bought a Canon 7D and had found a WEB developer to activate Calendrome Productions. All this happened over about three or four months.  By July I had the site up and running, looking professional and had started to film myself for my acting reel. It’s liberating when you don’t have to pay a complete stranger $500 to make a reel of something you’ll despise but won’t admit to yourself but somehow keep finding in your toilet.   I had started to shape an idea for an ad campaign for Kickstarter to raise money to shoot the whole thing, Cassevetes style for non-smokers.

Around July I went to a mixer for Brown Paper Tickets, an organization that helps you promote and organize yourself.  I met the owner and he told me they have someone on staff to help with getting organized with film production.  A couple of weeks later I touched base with Sita on their staff who specializes in film production;  we’ve formed a partnership really, talking on the phone back and forth for the last couple of months on the best way to move forward into bringing Frenemies off the vision board and onto film;  over the last couple of months we’ve cast the lead roles of Kate and Zach (I am Zach..keep in mind, I played Roger Sherman of Connecticut at Des Moines Dinner theater..”he reminded me of my dead husband” charmed one audience member who brought the median age down to 97 years), found a good DP, no easy feat, written and shaped a trailer and worked on a shooting sequence, set a shooting schedule, created a realistic budget and laid groundwork for the next several months.  Sita and I will continue to work together to make Frenemies the most spectacular anti-romantic romantic dark dramedy ever made.  And no gratuitous breast scenes except for my dog Moose and her eight nipples who will be playing the role of Crumbles, a demanding tour de force part for an older slightly rotund female canine. I’m excited because this is actually starting to happen.

The sequel will be called Frenemies Mine and I want to make the movie poster look like Enemy Mine so I can be green and bumpy. If I have to thumb wrestle or paintball Wolfgang Peterson to get his permission, I’m already in training.  Six hours a day.